My 19 year old son told me he tested positive. I don't know what to say or do. I asked if he needed to talk and he refused. I offered to take him to a counselor and he did not want to go. I want to help him and am confused, shocked, angry, that he did not protect himself, sad because he has complicated his life with so many things. He is on house arrest and has 6 months left and 2 years probation after that with a curfew. He continues to steal and lie from and to me. HELP

This is difficult news. Your son obviously has a tremendous amount to deal with - issues that would tax anyone's ability to cope, let alone a nineteen year old. Everyone goes through a process after hearing this news, and one common phase is denial. I'm sure he is also struggling with guilt, shame, anger, and mostly fear. He might be willing to speak with someone besides you, his parent. Perhaps a friend or a case worker can encourage him to change his mind about getting some help in the form of support groups or counseling. You need to be certain you have a place to verbalize your own feelings. Finally, you should have a discussion with your son to come to an agreement over house rules. Find out what kind of support or encouragement he needs from you. In turn, he needs to understand that lying and stealing are never justified.