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Question regarding boyfriends memory

Jul 5, 2008

I have been with my HIV positive boyfriend for almost a year. I have done a lot of research but wanted an opinion/advice from someone who knows first-hand. We have always had issues with his temper and the fact that it seems he is so happy and goofy one minute and then next he just flips out over nothing at all. I am staying with him this month while my kids are gone and we got into argument and he told me to pack my things and leave. I sent him a text message saying I would get my stuff while he was gone. This was yesterday and since then he has made mention of it several times, even saying that my wanting to pack up and leave really hurt his feelings. He says he never said anything about me packing my stuff and I know for a fact he did. He has no recollection of this, or he is a really good actor. Is it this possible and/or typical? He seems to have these moments and I get upset and he seems to get over it so quickly and then is shocked that I seem upset. Does he really say and/or do things and not recall doing so? I think he was diagnosed positive about 3 or 4 years ago and is now undetectable/untraceable and I cannot remember what he takes in addition to Kaletra. Please help me better understand it because if this is part of his struggle, I will stick by him but need to understand whether its his personality or his illness.

Response from Dr. Horwath

If your boyfriend has an undetectable viral load, the his difficulty remembering is not likely to be related to HIV.

His problem controlling his temper seems to be the important issue here. Sometimes people say things in anger that they regret afterwards. Maybe that's the case with him and now he is having trouble acknowledging what he said. Whatever the reason, you need to address his temper with him. If he can't control it or won't get help to control it better, then you will continue to have a real roller coaster relationship with him.

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