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Lost my Mind
Apr 28, 2008

Well Last night i was alone for the first time in a long while. I couldn't sleep. I started Breaking dishes and I ended the night by painting my body in red paint? I found out i was positive in December of 07 and lately I just haven't felt the same.

I wanted to ask are my actions just delayed emotions that i never dealt with when i found out i was positive? Because when i heard i was positive i didn't cry not for atleast 3 weeks. My semester of school was about to end and i had college cheerleading nationals to worry about to and working and keeping my grades up.

Even now i find myself wanting to cry but i dont. whats wrong with me have I lost my mind? or has the pressure around me just adding to what I have to deal with now?

Will I ever just accept what i have because even now i feel numb like nothing fases me any more.

Thanks

Response from Dr. Horwath

Numbness is one type of reaction to upsetting news. But that should pass with time. You need to come to terms with this news. Given the difficulties you've been having, you should seek some help from a counseling center or mental health professional. You need to talk to someone about what it means to be HIV positive, and it would be best if it's someone with knowledge about HIV and AIDS.

Like many other people have done, you can adapt to being HIV positive. If you take care of your health and get appropriate medical care, then you should be able to lead a very productive life



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