I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but I figured I would start here. My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. He was diagnosed 2 years ago. We've been married almost 10 years now and have a beautiful daughter.

In our best 'guestimation', he has had HIV since before we met. (He did have a one night stand about 6 years back, but she has tested negative.) So here I am, HIV negative and not understanding it. I've talked with an HIV doc who told me 'it happens.' But I can't seem to get my head around it.

I've read everything I get my hands on, I go to an HIV caregiver support group, and I have a therapist. But I still have lingering thoughts that maybe I have HIV, and it's hidden. Is this a form of 'survivors guilt'? Is it normal and can I expect it to go away?

Thanks in advance for all your help.

I have no way of knowing if it is survivor guilt or just the way you have always dealt with difficult things emotionally or psychologically. It is virtually impossible for me to do the kind of indepth assessment from your brief e mail that would be necessary in order for me to even venture any kind of opinion of why you are feeling and thinking the way you are. If you were always one to obsess over things, than this is just another manifestation of how your psyche works.

I urge you to continue in your support group and with your therapist as those are most likely the only actions you can take that will illuminate the answers to your question. Michael Shernoff, MSW