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+male dating - women

Jul 9, 2007

I've been seeing a guy for the last 4 months and in the beginning of the relationship he told me he was positive, ever since i have been scared to have sex with him as i come from South Africa and see the effects of HIV every day. He;s been really supportive and is happy to see where the relationship goes without having sex, but i know it must put a strain on him because we're very attracted to eachother. Would it be advicable to go to his doctor to find out more information about his CD$ cells and viral load as well as the effectivness of PEP? I'm deeply inlove with this man so i an to make it work without puting me at any avoidable risk.

Response from Dr. Horwath

You could just ask him what his viral load is. Most people who are well informed about their HIV and medical condition like to know what their viral load is as a way to track their progress. But you should know that this is only part of the whole picture. For example, if a man has a low viral load in his blood, he may still have considerable quantities of HIV in his semen.

If you decide to have sex with him, then you are assuming some risk of infection. But using condoms decreases this risk considerably. The effectiveness of post-exposure prophylaxis after sex is not fully known, but it would be impractical to use it regularly after sex if you intended to stay in a longer relationship with him.

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