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why does he treat me so badly now?

Jun 8, 2007

my exboyfriend and i tested positive within one month of each other. we'd been having sex on and off after we broke up. he told me he had syphilis a couple of months after we'd last slept together. i went for a screening and the syphilis came back positive and i knew immediately that i would test hiv positive and i was right. i had to pressure him into getting tested and he was also positive. at first he was supportive and now he treats me badly and behaves as if he has some reason to be upset with me. he makes things up to be angry about at me and doesn't call me. we've always been there for each other and i'm devastated by all of this. is this because he feels guilty? i've told him it's not his fault and i don't blame him for my failure to protect myself. he's a sweet guy with a good heart and i 'd like to help but don't know how.

Response from Dr. Horwath

He may feel guilty, or he may be blaming you (even if it's not justified), or he may be angry with himself for getting himself infected. Or there may be other reasons, but whatever the reason it doesn't excuse his behavior. He needs to treat you decently and you should expect that of him. HIV infection should not be used as an excuse for for bad behavior.

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