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i don't know how to deal with it
Apr 5, 2007

today i was being nosy in my boyfriends email and found out he was HIV positive. as far as i know i am negative. naturally i asked him, but it was very hard. he told me that he's been hiv positive all his life. he contracted it through his mother when during birth, she was an addict.

when he confirmed that he was in fact positive and has been for the 19 years he's been living, i began to worry. he knows i love him and this won't affect our relationship.

however since he's told me i havent been able to stop crying. i'm worried, i'm scared for him and also for myself. i'll be getting tested soon, only because he wants me to.

how do i deal with this? he says i shouldnt be worried however i can't help but to worry. any help is greatly appreciated

Response from Dr. Horwath

First you need to be tested so that you know your own status. This is important.

Whatever your status is, you'll need to come to some acceptance of your boyfriend's situation. It is understandable that your are frightened and sad. There is great uncertainty ahead, but that would be true with or without HIV in your life. We are all subject to losses and uncertainty. Illness or tragedy can strike any of us at any time. We tend not to think about this. The presence of HIV in your and your boyfriend's life makes you face these uncertainties and does not allow you to pretend that they don't exist. This is a difficult task, but I'm sure you can manage it. It will be hepful to spend time talking to your boyfriend.



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