I found out i was positive almost two year ago (29 year old female). obviously, i have been going to my appointments faithfully, taking vitamins and eating healthy to keep a healthy immune system (t-cell 340 and vl 9,000-19,000. not on meds yet, but i know my day is coming and i will gladly take what will keep me alive. to make this long story short, i told my long time boyfriend of 13 years that he should be tested (for obvious reason), but he looked me up and down and said "i dont have it". after a year of him resisting to go to the doctor, i left him. I came back after he landed himself in the hospital for "pcp". after almost two months of being in the hospital i thought he would take this serious, but to my surprise it took three months to convince him to follow up on his appointments, because he felt fine and he thought when he decide to take this "magic" pill everything would work wonders. now he is in and out of hospital with a t-cell count of 10 and vl out of this world with cmv,thrush,possible liver damage (from the yellowing of his eyes)and maybe mac. My question is how can i be there for him with sympathy during his time of pure HELL, when i am so mad for him allowing his ignorance to put him in this position and bringing my life down with him. Please, tell me how!

Well, your anger certainly won't help him. Nor will saying "I told you so."

You will need to decide if you want to be helpful or not. If so, then put your anger behind you and give him what you are able to give. His illness is punishment enough for his previous mistakes. If you cannot do this, then it is better to stay clear of him than to add insult to injury.