the problem? i have no problem!
Jan 22, 2007
I was infected with HIV in the summer of 2005, and diagnosed october 2006. I studied microbiology, so have a substantial knowledge of biology/biochem/virology, and find it incredibly comforting that i can understand what HIV is doing to me, what i can do to combat it, what the meds do, what the side effects are, ... This gets to a point where all my friends and my partner accuse me of 'overrationalising' hiv, they seem to think i don't react emotionally to my situation at all. Honestly, i don't feel like i should let hiv dominate my life, my thoughts, and prefer to be rational about this whole thing. Some friends say i haven't come to terms with HIV emotionally, and am distancing myself using science...
In your experience, is it "normal" (for a given value of normal) NOT to face Kubler Ross - like emotional states of denial, anger, fear, ... ? Should i be wary of the HIV spook creeping up on me and dragging me into an emotional mess, or would you accept my rationalisation is in fact my way of coming to terms with "me + virus"? I don't think that HIV is a mere bagatelle, i do know it's serious. I also "know" that with enough care, meds and inner strength i will (most likely... a statistician with great confidence crossed a body of water 2 inches deep... he drowned) survive this virus.
Response from Dr. Horwath
Everyone has their own way to manage the problems in their lives. If your rational scientific approach works for you, then I see no problem with it. I'm not sure what your friends expect you to do differently. Coming to emotional terms with HIV means continuing to live your life while doing what you need to do to manage the HIV. You seem to be doing this.
Congratulations on your adaptation! Make sure you get consultation from a doctor. Your scientific knowledge should not be a substitute for good medical care.
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