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lost cause
Dec 19, 2006

Dr. Howarth:

Thank you for participating in this forum and for the advice you give.

I have been hiv+ since 1998, In October 2005 it turned to Aids and what my doctor said was Aids Dementia Complex(of which both I almost died from), my latest MRI has shown my dementia has become worse. Pretty much my short term memory is mush and I am very forgetful which is quite frustrating.

I have battled depression for most of my adult life and have been treated for at least the past 15 years, with pretty much no success. My depression medications have been numerous including all the newer ones..of which none have worked.

I, in June 2006 moved from Virginia to my hometown in Alaska (a very small town) which sadly has no support network and no doctors with much experience in depression and none in Aids or Aids Dementia Complex (only GP's here)...this in itself have made things even more difficult for me.

I several months ago called the local mental health office and talked to a counselor there who after I explained my situation to him, told me there was nothing they could do for me and 'good luck'. He was pretty lucky I was not standing on a cliff at the time or I probably would have thrown myself off. Talk about not being professional. I did report him but no one even called me back. I also told my local GP about it and she was quite mad, but nothing came of it.

Needless to say, I am super depressed and right now could care less if I take my aids meds or not as my life is pretty much meaninless. I would never commit suicide as I am Catholic and that would be a major sin. But I am at my wits end, and everyday I wake up wondering what will go wrong as pretty much every day something major has gone wrong. I contantly ask God when is enough going to be enough, how much more do I have to be tested. But that is another matter!

My previous doctor in Virginia was an absolutely wonderful man and the best doctor I had in my life. If I had the money I would move back just to be back in his wonderful care.

Oh well.

Any wisdom or advice you could give me would be most welcomed.

Thank you so much and I am sorry this is so long.

Scott

Response from Dr. Horwath

I believe that you always have cause for hope. No situation is so bleak that there is no cause for hope. As long as you are living and have the ability to take a breath, you may the opportunity to improve. I encourage you to try to remain positive, whether that is through prayer or friends or whatever works for you.



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