May 3, 2006
I've been in a relationship now for over a year. Its long distance, She's HIV+ and I can't handle it anymore. She didn't tell me about her status before we started our physical relationship, she told me after month into the relationship. I'm still negative. At this Point I felt obligated to stay, but I can't mentally handle it anymore. She won't let go and I don't know how to end it. She's clinging on to me and I can't say no to her... What can I do, I feel like a jerk because I told her I could handle the relationship, I was wrong I can't... Please help me I'm so confused.
Response from Dr. Horwath
Staying in a relationship like this because you feel obligated is a mistake. You are not helping her or yourself by staying in a relationship that you no longer want. If you feel some desire to be helpful to her in the future, then offer her your friendship if she needs a friend. But staying in a romantic relationship with her when you clearly no longer want to will be destructive to her and to you.
This story should also serve as a wake-up call to other readers. She was wrong not to tell you about her status before you had sex. All those who are reading this should be advised to always use protection when having sex.
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