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Hi I am negative and my partner found out he was positive whilst I was three months pregnant

Apr 26, 2006

Hi I am negative and my partner found out he was positive whilst I was three months pregnant. Since then I have survived three test all being negative and gave birth to a healthy little girl. This has been great our little miracle baby. See we both probably would have dealt differently with the news by turning to active drug addiction however we have remained clean. My question/s have alot to do with our relationship. People whom are aware of his status cant understand why I dont leave him, the answer is simple and its not because we have a child its because I Love him. It has been almost 9mths since we found out and he has commenced treatment but we aren't getting on that well. He doesnt think I understand whats going on with him and he doesn't understand I have needs of intamacy not only sex but cuddles and kisses and stuff. More so since having a baby. I am finding myself getting depressed and feeling lonely aswell as like Im just here for support. Like a best friend. We have discussed this and he keeps telling me I have to wait if I understood Id wait. That's not the case. He wont touch me unless I ask. He contracted HIV through sex and part of me thinks that maybe partially the reason for him holding out on me. We have talked about having another child but part of me thinks how when you wont be intimate with me now. Please help me understand better he says he isnt feeling well, his viral load has decreased rapidly from 750,000 to under 400 near un-detectable and his cd4 is 890 which has increased slightly from 500. He has chronic thrush in his mouth and says thats why he wont kiss me but it hurts. I just dont know how long I am expected to wait, and why cant he meet me half way. Id be content to snuggle up together with our little girl, hold hands and share gentle kisses but when i ask he says the lounge is to small. please help me understand

Response from Dr. Horwath

Your partner has some problem with being intimate. I'm not sure what he wants you to wait for. In order to be intimate with you, talk to you, or hold you, he does not need to be treated or perfectly healthy. All that is required is a desire to do so.

HIV+ partner and children
Major depression

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