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I do not know how to live as HIV+ Person?

Mar 3, 2006

I found out that I was HIV+ in August of 2005; prior from this terrible news I always feared this illness. Now that I am sick I feel as if I no longer exist, I do not want to allow people to be friends with me for fear of being rejected or fear that I could probably infect them, and Yes! I know forms on which some one can be infected, but just to think that I am HIV+, my mind just does not allow me to have a normal life. At work, school, and even at home I pretend and project an image, as if everything was fine, but deep in side of me I feel the pain of my problem, I cant stop crying every time Im by myself, or even when I look at other people that could potentially be healthy, I feel envy wishing to feel and think I am healthy. Lots of people like me I think, because of the good qualities I have as individual very caring for others etc, but I just can not let go the thoughts of my HIV that is eating me from the inside out and I do not want to hurt anyone. I would like you to provide me with an advice I do not know if I should let HIV- people be friends with me or should I only be friends with HIV+ people, Should I speak about my problem to whoever with time I could consider a friend in other words should tell people about my status, and last question where in Miami can I ask for help I would like to meet people that has the same issue like me, so that I dont feel so lonely. I have never asked for help on this matter over net, but I would really appreciate any suggestions. Thank you.

Response from Dr. Horwath

Your feelings are not uncommon. It's important to remember that there is now good treatment for HIV infection and that you have good reason to be hopeful for a satisfying life. Also, you have no reason to be afraid of having contact with HIV negative people. HIV is not spread by casual contact, and the people around you are in no danger from you, unless of course you have unprotected sex with them.

Talking to other people about it requires a judgment on your part as to whom, among your friends, you believe you can trust to be understanding and supportive.

In Miami, you might try calling the University of Miami medical center, which has an HIV clinic, or try websites like to see if you can find some local organization in the Miami area that might help you to find a source of support.

AIDS since 1998/depression/suicidal
living with aids

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