why am I mad that my friend has AIDS?
Nov 22, 2005
Hello Dr. Horwath: I am still friends with an old boyfriend. Recently he was diagnosed with AIDS. Initially, I was very empathetic and concerned. I also went right out and got tested. Thank God I was negative. It has been over 2 years since I have been with him sexually. My current boyfriend has never liked my past boyfriend. I initially wanted to be there for my friend, but now I find myself distancing myself. There is a part of me that believes he knew his situation when we were together, and I also believe he is very dishonest with himself (as well as others). I think he is still cheating on his current boyfriend and likely not telling others of his AIDS diagnosis. I still call him to be supportive, but I do not really want to be an integral part of his support system. I feel shallow, and quite the weak friend...text book fair weather friend. Anyway, any advice? Thanks.
Response from Dr. Horwath
If you decide that you do not want to be deeply involved in his life anymore, then that is your choice. There is nothing shallow about it. You are simply being honest with yourself. He was once close to you, but you have moved on with your life, as has he.
If he deceived you and others about his HIV status (as you suspect), then you have all the more reason to steer clear of him.
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