I am 29 and HIV+ for 18 months. I am a single mom and seem to be depresed. I lie to my doctors and tell them all is fine when in fact i am dead on the inside. I often have days when I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up, but my little girl keeps me going. I am scared to ask for help. I feel like I would look like a"bad mom" if anyone knew what was going on with me. I want to talk to someone I just do not know how to bring myself to do it. I live with my sister and her husband and they have know ideal what my life is really like. They know I am HIV+ but they think I am taking all this so well, single mom widow of 1yr., and HIV+ and I seem "HAPPY" to them. I am just not able to let anyone know how I feel. I am not on meds yet, but if I feel like this now what will happen when I am on meds?

You are experiencing a depression. Depression is a medical disorder that can be treated safely and effectively with antidepressant medications and psychotherapy.

Suffering from depression does not mean that you are a "bad mom" and it is nothing to feel ashamed about. It is an illness that can be treated just like any other illness. The best thing to do is to get an evaluation from a psychiatrist. If there is none available in your immediate area, speak to your general physician about it. Many physicians nowadays are familiar with the use of the antidepressants. You would also benefit from some psychotherapy, which will help you to better cope with your situation.

Getting treatment is the best thing you can do for your little girl. When you get better, she will have her "old" mom back.