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It hurts so much

Aug 31, 2005

i found out that my partner was positive and only a week before we had unprotected sex, but thank god three months later and my blood results were -ve i don't know how. however now that my partner is going through very low cd4s and bad medications that is not working all that well, my heart feels like someone is ripping it bit by bit no exaggerations i don't know what to do, i don't know how long i can watch him suffer so much, I'm doing almost everything and to top it all our sex life is non existent zero nothing, i think I'm not attracted to him sexually anymore after seeing him with all the opportunistic infections and him loosing wheights. I'm seeing a counsellor but it's not doing anything except letting of some steam. i feel so alone, he doesn't want me to tell any of my friends, they come to me with the most stupidest trivial problems but i can't tell them anything about what I'm going through, please help! i love him so much yet i feel like leaving him. i don't know if i can stay and watch him suffer, it has been the longest 3 months of my life.

Response from Dr. Horwath

If you honestly love him, then the thing to do is not to abandon him when he needs you most. At this stage of the illness, you need to put your own needs aside for a while, unitl he recovers and is better able to care for himself.

As for not allowing you to speak to friends, you need to talk to him about this. If he wants your help when he's ill, then he can't forbid you from seeking your own help and support for the difficulties that the situation creates for you. Talk to him about this.

Advice on Pursuing Relationship
hiv and deppression

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