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Is it bad for me to want all of this to end?
May 20, 2005

I'm tired...I'm tired of taking medicine, I'm tired of not feeling well, I'm tired of the pain of neuropathy that never goes away. I'm not overtly suicidal but is it wrong to consider ways to stop all of this suffering?

Response from Dr. Horwath

The feelings you describe are part of the difficulty of dealing with a chronic illness like HIV/AIDS. Many people with a chronic disease become tired of taking medicine, tired of not feeling well, and tired of pain.

However, the idea of stopping all the suffering by dying or killing oneself is probably a sign of depression. Chronic illness is difficult to adapt to, but thoughts of death and suicide are a sign that one is no longer coping well, and probably developing a clinical depression.

You should talk to a professional (psychiatrist or psychologist) who can evaluate you for depression, and to determine if you are a good candidate for some type of treatment.



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