The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Mental Health and HIVMental Health and HIV
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

Positive Denial & Negative Stress

Dec 13, 2004

My boyfriend tested positive for HIV & HSV2 4 months ago, I am negative to both. It is a recent infection with a correspondingly high count (180K).

We have been very communicative about his fears and practical with our approach to safe sex, but when it comes to discussing anything related to HIV he has an attitude that "There's nothing I can do so there is nothing to worry about" & shuts down discussion passively. Unfortunately for me the risk is very real, and the worry of contracting either virus consumes an enormous amount of my time, fairly or not.

I really want to discuss his health more, along with my fear. I resent his cavalier attitude but I don't want to shatter his denial holiday, which i've read is a coping mechanism which lasts for a year or more.

Should I force the issue on to the agenda?

Response from Dr. Horwath

If he decides to shift into denial, there may not be much you can do. I don't know how you could force a discussion that he does not want to have. However, you can make decisions about what you will do. If he refuses to talk to you about this important subject, then you need to set some limits on what you are willing to do under these circumstances.

You are well advised to do whatever you need to do to prevent yourself from becoming infected with HIV. Your own personal protection is definitely more important than protecting the feelings of your boyfried.

early hiv + with neuropathy
My dad has AIDS

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint