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Sad/Partner dying of AIDS

Dec 13, 2004

My partner is in a nursing home dying of aids. He also was diagnosed with PML. He was dishonest about his status with me. He is in San Diego and because of finances I had to move back to Portland, OR to stay with my Father. I have alot of depression and anxiety over this and am very untrusting of any new relationships. Are these feelings normal?

Response from Dr. Horwath

It is understandable to feel distrusting after you have been deceived by someone close to you. Feelings of sadness and anxiety are a normal response to learning about a betrayal.

However, there are some lessons to learn. You may want to re-evaluate how trusting you are about HIV status. You should protect yourself from HIV exposure by practicing safe sex at all times, expect perhaps with a partner whom you have very good reasons to trust. However, even if you have a close personal relationship with someone, you need to realize that you may be deceived. In such a relationship, you have to balance trust against personal protection and make a personal judgment. There is no single answer to this that is appropriate for everyone.

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