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long time survivor still fearing the worst

Apr 8, 2004

Dr Horwath, I was diagnosed with AIDS in 1992, the Dr said I might have been infected as long as 10 years already.I can't say my life has been a terrible one but preparing to die seem so much easier than just waiting for the worst, not dying but being terribly sick.I live in constant pain,neuropathy on both feet since 1994 and nothing has helped,not even pain killers.And then there's the fatigue. I'm manic depressive and currently under treatment but I feel terribly sad and letargic all the time.Gained weight and have a terrible time finding anything or anyone enjoyable anymore.Am I the only person feeling this way and why do I feel so guilty that I should be enjoying life but I can't?

Response from Dr. Horwath

The feelings you describe - feeling sad, lethargic, not finding anything or anyone enjoyable, fatigue, guilt - are symptoms of depression. Although you are in treatment for manic depressive illness, you still have symptoms of depression. Go to your psychiatrist and get additional help with your depression. This type of depression is treatable, and you should not have to suffer needlessly in this way.

Help please! My 'drive' still slips into stupid!

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