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Family uses illness

Apr 6, 2004

I just found out that my sister, who is in the middle of a divorce and is legally separated from her husband, told him that she was visiting me for a long weekend because I was very ill ( when in fact I was not ) so that she could go to another state to meet some guy she has been talking to on line. I am very hurt and upset over this but love my sister very much and do not want to make her mad at me but I do not think it is fair for her to use my illness like this. It makes me think that she has no clue as to what I and all others are going through with dealing with dealing with this illness on a daily basis.

How should I handle this, am I just be over sensitive or should I tell her that I am upset and risk loosing the only family member I have left?

Just dont know what to do


Response from Dr. Horwath

Your upset feelings with your sister are understandable. She used you and your illness as an excuse for her to get away with her own behavior. You are completely within your rights to talk to her about about this, and to let her know how you feel. You may not want to anger her, but letting her think that it's OK to treat you this way is certainly not good for your relationship with her. If she cares about you, she should be able to hear from you when she does something that hurts you.

Your desire to have others treat you with dignity and sensitivity to your illness is healthy, and deserves to be spoken.

worried wife
21 years of hiv no problems

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