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worried wife

Apr 6, 2004

my husband was diagnosed with hiv 4 months ago, i'm negative, i'm scared to have sex, but i do, once the condom broke, 2nd it got lost inside of me,but my husband still wants to have sex, i don't know how to tell him i'm scared,i won't leave him we been married for 20yrs. and if i stop having sex with him he assumes i'm with someone else. please help.

Response from Dr. Horwath

You have legitimate reasons to be concerned, but you need to find a way to communicate this to him. If you can't talk to him about it on your own, try to get some help from a counselor. Your husband should be able to understand your fears of becoming infected. However, if you and he use appropriate precautions during sex, and if he gets effective treatment and maintains an undetectable viral load, the risk of infection to you would be minimized.

Perhaps there is an agency with HIV counseling in your city. You may be able to get help in talking to him about this, and help with appropriate safer sex measures.

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