in love and being pushed away
Mar 3, 2004
Hello. I am a lesbian and in love with a woman recently diagnosed with HIV. It is an online relationship, and we had made many plans for our lives. We have not been together in person yet, as she withdrew as soon as she found out. I still love her with all my heart, and just want to go thru this together. However, she is withdrawing and wanting me to leave her. She is frightened of this disease, won't discuss being together for fear of infecting me. She won't discuss counseling, the topic of HIV, or how her health is. I continue to try to be there for her, to assure her that I love her no matter what, and that thru education we can still be together, but she is so depressed, withdrawn, and frightened I sometimes can't reach her. I have become depressed as well, as my life has also changed, and I hurt, both, because she has this, and because she's shutting me out. How can I help her? How do I get thru this devestating time with her shutting me out? Will she allow me closer in time? Please help. Anything you can suggest would be greatly appreciated.
Response from Dr. Horwath
Ultimately, she will need to be the one who decides how to handle this situation for herself. If she is depressed and withdrawn, you might want to recommend some psychiatric treatment for her. She may be reluctant to talk to you, but might find it easier to discuss with a mental health professional, and she may be a candidate for an antidepressant as well.
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