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Help, I am worried about my spouse with HIV+How can I hel[?

Sep 25, 2003

My spouse is HIV+. He doesn't want me to tell anyone but he has been sick for so long, and I can't lie. How do I deal with theis?

Response from Mr. Shernoff

If you live in a location where there is an AIDS service organization, call them to ask if they run support groups for care partners of people with HIV and AIDS. You can join one of these groups to meet and gain guidance and support from other people who are the primary care giver for a loved one with HIV or AIDS. ALso inquire aobut whether they have groups for couples where one or both are living with the illness.

The other good idea is to talk directly to your partner and tell him how you are feeling and ask him about his feelings. Then ask him what he needs from you and what are his thoughts about how the two of you can begin to figure out how to deal with coping with the illness and all of its stresses together as a couple.

Each of you will have many feelings and stressors. Some will be the same, but many will be different. It is important that do what ever you need to do to take care of yourself so that you will have all of the emotional resources needed to cope with whatever the future holds. This may include your beginning your own therapy or counseling.

I hope that you follow at least some of these suggestions.

Michael Shernoff, MSW

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Long-Term Survival

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