Jul 30, 2003
I have been POZ for 12 years and have never had any related ilnesses or therapy issues until last May. It started with Bells Palsy and continued with chronic eye infections. About the same time I met several people who introduced me to PnP Tina. It is aboput a year ater and I have not been using for over 3 months. However I now have had lumps develope in my chest that have been removed and are growing back. Starting to have respatory issues major depression and my viral load is rising even though my T cells are staying fairly "normal". I am also in a living situation that is very stressful that my Doctor is contributing to my health issues and would like to see me get out of. I have brought the idea of Accewlorated Life benefits to him and he Insists that I will have over 24 months should I get out of my living situation. If not 3-6. I get the feeling that he has written me off now that he know that I was using recreational drugs. It has become obvious to many others that I am not doing as well as I have been for the last 11 yrs wieght loss the lumps in my chest major depression lung infectionsand my viral load is over 50,000. With this and him seeing the negative effects of my current living situation and the depression. I dont get why he will not be supportive in cashing out the insurance so I can get out of my living situation get a place of my own take a leave from work to get into a depression/ re-hab/ start living again. In patient thera[y center. I currently do not have the funds my parents have helped as much as they can financially. I am lucky enough to have this benefit. I am feeling lost and hopeless and have given up. The only thing person keeping me in the battle is my mother. Shouldn'y my doctor put his morals aside and assist the patient in getting there life back? I would agree with him that nobody dies from depression, they just slowly stop living.
Response from Mr. Shernoff
I don't hear that you are taking any of the steps you need in order to help yourself. If you are depressed are you in therapy to get help with that? If not, why not? There are low cost centers you can go to to recive good qualified mental health services.
If you are unhappy using "recreational" drugs have you gone to a 12 step program for help in stopping? There are special interest 12 step meeting for people who have HIV. I only hear you complaining about your doctor, but not takaing any responsibility to take the steps you can and should take to improve your own life. (You may have legitimate complaints regarding your doctor, but if so, then discuss these with him directly and if that does not improve the situation, then change doctors.)
So in short, instead of having your doctor be the reason why your life is not improving, you need to start behaving like an adult and assume full responsibility for your own situation as well as the solutions that will improve your life. If you can't seem to come up with these solutions then join an AIDS support group and talk these issues over with other people living with HIV to get ideas, support and inspiration. Michael Shernoff, MSW
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