hi experts im 19 years of age, 6 months pregnant and already have a daughter of 10 months. i have been hiv pos for 6 months but only found out a month ago. my ex boyfriend gave it to me and still wont tell me the truth about where he got it from! he claims to have had a test just before we met but it wasnt picked up, i dont believe him and because i dont know where this came from, it is tearing me up, im so scared of not being able to watch my babies grow,what if i give to my next baby? i am so messed up that i keep thinking of giving my children up and taking my life so i dont have to put them and my family through this pain that im going through. my family are very supportive but if i told them i was having thoughts like this, im not sure how they would react. im so hurt and confused that im writing to u. please help me..

You are clearly very overwhelmed and need alot more support and help than you are currently getting. I urge you to locate a good mental health professional and begin working with him or her. The best way to find a good mental health professional who is skilled in working with people with HIV and AIDS is to ask your doctor for a referral.

Also I strongly suggest that you locate a support group for women living with HIV and AIDS, (usually these are run either at local hospitals or at AIDS service organzations) and sign up for one immediately. This way you can meet other women living with the disease and learn from them what they are doing to cope with all the stress and problems that having HIV and AIDS bring to women in particular.

Michael Shernoff, MSW