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confused and longing
Apr 11, 2002

Hi michael, i have been reading the body for a whole month now. I just tested positive four weeks ago. i am an open and honest honest to goodness bisexual. When i told my girlfriend about my test she withdrew from me, she tested negative, and even though we had sex only once in the past four months, she is not out of danger of being infected. I have so much guilt of from putting her in danger and i am having a hard time dealing with that. She had been leaving me emotionally for a while and we talked about ending it before my positive test but this kind of expedited things. Three days ago i decided to move on with my life, began to realise that i need to be ok with myself and began climbing out of the pitty pot and went to a support group. Een though i have alot of deep rooted anger i am returning to my old self. Last night i met a wonderful woman (Grad Psych Major) and we like each other alot. I was amazed that in all ways i could relate with her as if i am not hiv positive but i am so weirded out about my hiv. Should i be so glad we met and feel good about it or am i in some sort of denial? I think i should tell her about my hiv if it goes further? Or not and just proceed carefully. Or should i just keep a distance and enjoy a budding friendship that may or may not last? I am lost. Please help thanks

Response from Mr. Shernoff

It is always best to be honest. Whether she is going to be a friend or develop into a romantic relationship I suggest telling her about your being HIV postive sooner rather than later. This way in case something does happen sexually you and she will have spoken about your health and both of you can take the necessary precautions. It is also a way to insure that you can feel more relaxed and authentic with her no matter how the relationship develops. MIchael Shernoff, MSW



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