I have been + since 89. I have never had counseling or group. Have taken prozac off and on over this time. Stopped again about 4 months ago because I was extremely exhausted all the time. Since then I have got my energy back. But I have days like I have never had before. I snap at everything, and am mad at everyone. I have been off hiv drugs for over 15 months because of liposdystrophy. I go out rarely because of the way I look. I try and see as few people as possible. I look awful. My face is deformed and fat around neck and back of head is grotesque. big hump and gut too. I will never be comfortable looking like this. Many days I would rather be dead than look like this. I see my freinds look at me and everyone want to know what is wrong with me. My wife and I have not told anyone, I am ready too, but we have teens we do not want to know till they are out of high school. I feel if I everyone of my + it would help my mental health. Sorry for the rambling. I am lost.

It is clear that you and your wife would benefit from professional support. I think this needs to take a variety of forms. It would certainly be helpful for you to be in your own individual counseling with a mental health professional who is experienced in working with people living with HIV.

But you should also seek out an individual who has experience working with couples and families where a person has HIV. The stresses that this situation is creating on you, your marriage and your family are obvious. If they are not addressed, and you do not recieve help both as an individual and as a couple they will only get worse and cause even more problems.

Also I think you need a support group so that you can meet regularly with other people lving with HIV to get support and help in problem solving. Perhaps there is a group for couples where one or both have HIV. This is an excellent resource as well.

You need help in coping with all of the enormously stressful things you are living with. Please take actions today to begin to get this help. By doing so you are making a major investment in the long term emotional well being of yourself, your marriage and your family.

Michael Shernoff, MSW