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I just find out about my status, and as you might imagine feel quite lost. I am 36 yo and am afraid that now I won't be able to find a companion. My sex drive is very low and I wish I could be back to my normal self. What can I do to be as close as possible to feel normal. I feel so guilty of seroconverting. How do I also deal about the guilt of falling for an HIV negative person. I am so afraid of transmitting my virus.
Thank you for any insight...I know I'm asking a lot of things
New Yorker
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Response from Mr. Shernoff
It sounds like you are depressed as a result of sero converting. This is completely normal. Most people are in shock for some time after learning that they have become infected. Right now you need to get into a support group for newly diagnosed people. Living in NY there are numerous places you can go to get into a free support group. Call Body Positive and GMHC to inquire about a support group, and then join one.
This is also an excellent time to begin therapy so you can can get professional support during this very difficult time as well. In time you will make the mental and emotional adjustments necessary to adapt to living with a life threatening illness.
There is no reason why you can not find a loving companion, but right now is way too early for you to be thinking about that as you just do not need to deal with the added stress of haivng to tell men you meet that you are HIV +. So my advice is that you put that issue on the back burner until you are feeling better and more of your normal self. There is no reason to feel guilty about sero converting, but of course it raises a host of feelings for you. This is why I suggest that you seek out professional counseling in order to work with an expert about managing all of your feelings. Also if you did meet and fall for a negative man why should you be guilty. It is just crucial to tell him what your HIV status is very early in the dating process.
Best of luck with making the numeorus emotional and psycholgocial adjustments you need to in order to learn how to live with HIV with balance and serenity.
Michael Shernoff, MSW
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Response from Mr. Shernoff
