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HIV+ boyfriend
Apr 8, 2004
I've been dating my boyfriend for a littl over 9 months now. He first told me he was infected after about a month and a half of dating. Which was before we started having sex. We alsways had protected sex, until about 4 or months in. I initiated this,but he would get mad at me and put a condom on. Then he moved into his own house with roommates, and we started spending a lot more time together. Now we have been having unprotected sex for 4 months. Even though he does pull out, I realize the danger, but I'm really in love with him, and told him that I would never do this with anyone else. At first he was weary of unprotected sex, but I insisted that we do it. Now I think I may be preganant. If I'm infected or not, I don't think I'll be keeping the baby anyway. He's definately the man I would love to spend the rest of my life with, and he feels the same. But recently he tried to get me break up with him, because he was afraid of me getting sick. I found out through his best friend that he felt as if he was a burden to me, and didn't want me to rely on him for anything, just in case something happened to him. he felt if I did depend on him, and something happened that I would be lost without him, with nothing going on in my life. After that I told his friend that I would rather have some of the happiest years of my life with him, with a possibility of me getting infected, rather than break up with him now, and be heartbroken. Do you think it's wrong to keep having unprotected sex, and just accept whatever will happen to me?
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Response from Dr. Horwath
I don't think it's a question of right or wrong. The fact is that unprotected sex will get you infected with HIV, if it hasn't already. There is no need for that to happen when it is possible to protect yourself.
Furthermore, by insisting on unprotected sex over your boyfriend's objection you may drive him away. If he feels burdened, part of the burden he feels may be the concern that he is exposing you to an unnecesary risk. If you protect yourself, you will also better protect your relationship with your boyfriend.
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