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HIV positive - HIV negative
Oct 8, 2003

I have been HIV+ for over 13 years now. 2 years ago I started a relationship with a negative guy from Nebraska, and moved here to be with him. I told him long before we actually met about my HIV status. Our love life is terrific, but the sex didn't just taper off after some time, it stopped. I can't help but think that HIV is part of the reason that he is no longer sexual with me. We have so much enjoyable time together, but no sex. I thought it would be the other way around with me becoming less sexual as time went by, but that is not the case. I try to talk to him about this and ask him what is different or what is bothering him, but he only says "I don't know". We have tried to go to counseling together, but it is not helping. We had a fight about this that became so heated that I was arrested and put in jail for a night! I am sure that he loves me and I know I love him.... can you give me any advice on how to proceed. I don't think I can live a life loving someone without a healthy sex life.... not at 34!! Frustration is an understatement..... Is there hope for us?

Response from Mr. Shernoff

If you are not making any headway in getting him to talk about what the problem is then I would not be hopeful about the relationship improving. Communication is the very basis for any relationship. oOu have to decide whether you can live with him as a friend or if not what action you are prepared to take.

Michael Shernoff, MSW



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