Please Note: Due to volume considerations, not all questions can be answered. Questions most likely to be answered will be those of general interest to a broad group of visitors to this forum. Questions pertaining to a specific case; requests for diagnosis, medical advice, or second opinion; or requests for opinions about untested alternative therapies will generally not be answered.
The participation of Dr. Ewald Horwath in this Forum is made possible by Boehringer Ingelheim.
|
|
 |
|
How to help someone HIV negative.
Aug 4, 2003
Dear Michael,
I have been dating the most incredible guy for the past month. We have discussed my HIV status, I am positive, he is negative. At this point, we have taken everything very slow. We have spend many hours a week in each other's company, or on the phone. I am pretty sure this is the guy for me....the problem? HIV is so stressful for him to deal with. He's scared. I want him to be concerned, I want him to also help take responsibility for his health, if we choose to become physical. How can I help ease the fear, without overwhelming him with information. He is a Police Officer, and has enough stress just in his daily work life. I have sent him many question and answers from this forum, to give him basic information, I am just hoping to get past the stress of HIV and have a decent shot at a good relationship with this guy. We had talked about going to counseling together, briefly, but it's too costly right now. Any other suggestions?
|
 |
|
 |
|
Response from Mr. Shernoff
This is a tough one. He needs to take responsibility for making sure that he is as educated on the issue as he feels he needs to be, not as much as YOU feel he needs to be. The relationship is very new, and the process of the two of you getting to know one another and how you feel about one another can not and should not solely focus on your HIV status.
Jointly seeing a counselor at this very early phase does not seem appropriate. You need to encourage him to ask all the questions he may have and then to share any and all feelings he may have, and to listen to your thoughts and feelings as well and then to respond to these honestly.
How well the two of you are able to openly disucss each of your fears, concerns and issues, and listen to how the other is feeling will provide all the information you both need in terms of whether or not this should continue to develop into a major romantic relationship.
Best of luck to you.
Michael Shernoff, MSW
|
|
|
 Please remember that this forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not engaged through this
forum in rendering legal or medical advice or professional services. Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible
for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither The Body nor any sponsor is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.
Questions and messages posted to this forum are not statements of advice, opinion, or information of The Body, Body Health Resources Corporation or any sponsor of this
forum. While neither The Body nor Body Health Resources Corporation regularly reviews posted content, we reserve the right to delete, move, or
edit postings if we deem it appropriate under the circumstances. Visitors submitting questions remain solely responsible for the content of their
messages.
Information provided by experts is general only and should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease, or relied upon as
legal or other professional advice. This information is not a substitute for professional advice or care. If you have or suspect you may have a
health or legal problem, you should consult your own health care provider or your attorney.
Copyright notice.
|
|
|
|
