Thanks for your response to my "making a commitment with an HIV+ male". We absolutely plan to use condoms FOREVER but is it realistic for me to think that I can remain negative simply by practicing safe sex every time? Am I being irrational worrying about this? I am trying to envision my life for the next 30 years in a realistic way so that I know what I'm getting myself into and it's not always a pleasant picture. Will I be a widow and labeled so no one else wants me; can I survive the devastation of losing the man I love too soon. How do I REALLY feel about the possibility of being the only bread-winner in the family if he should become disabled. I know life is full of risks but I've always lived a very "safe" life. I want no regrets about this very difficult decision. There is so little information available about mixed-status heterosexual couples. I know nobody can guarantee my staying negative, I just need some professional advice/opinons so I can make a decision. Thank you.

There are no absolute guarantees about anything in life, including that he will predecease you. You raise important questions that only you can wrestle with. I can not advise you about any of them other than to continue to discuss them with him until you feel you have reached a place where you are comfortable with whatever decision it is that you reach.

Michael Shernoff, MSW