i feel ive lost my will to live. i had my baby last october. got hiv from my husband. i took meds and everything. she should be fine. last test will be at 18 months. i want to be able to provide for her and live a normal life. right now i need meds. but just moved to tn. have no insurance. i feel hopeless sometimes. i feel like im just living for my daughter. will i see her get older. and so forth? i cant afford the meds and have no ins. is there anyway to get meds.cheeper? Im flat out scared. lonely, down in the dumps. and i dont feel well enough to go out and push through life anymore. i keep sleeping. that bugs me. im unable to find any groups here. guess im not lookingin the right places. i just want it all to go away... dont want people to get sick and die. i dont want to die. im a single mom in a rinky dink apt. in murfreesboro. tn. move here in march. have no friends outside family. they seem tired of me. i feel like they dont understand me and my needs. dont know where to go. im scared to be alone.

You need to find some help. Tennessee provides assistance to people who need help buying their HIV meds through the ADAP, the AIDS Drug Assistance Program. You can get information from the ACCESS Project at the following website: http://www.atdn.org/access/states/tn/tn.html

If you get treatment, you have every reason to be hopeful that you can watch your daughter grow up. Long-term survival with HIV is now a common occurence because of the effective treatment now available.

You may also need an evaluation to determine if you are suffering from depression and then get the appropriate treatment. Feeling hopeless and losing the will to live are common symptoms of depression. Perhaps you can find a community mental health center or other facility that can provide some mental health services. I wish you the best.