I come from a close family and my cousin just told me that he has been + for 3 years.. (i am the only one who knows he is +). He says his bloodwork has been ok and hasnt needed meds. (i dont know the last time he was checked). He has lost alot of weight in a short time, has missed a month of work due to fatigue, has had persistent respiratory issues (ie, coughing, losing his voice), dry mouth, diarrhea, eyes are consistently bloodshot. As a nurse, I can recognize he is probably suffering from hiv wasting and i encourage him to go to the doctors for check-up and he says he will. When i try to follow up with him, he gives me different reasons for not seeing the doctor (they overbooked, etc) and finally he told me to tell the rest of the family as well as myself to leave him alone and he'll talk when he's ready. I told him i would respect that as long as he knew we care about him. He said he knows and thanked me for understanding. The rest of the family can see he is unwell, but he says he's stressed and has alot going on at work. I am curious if there has been any documentation or studies done regarding the mental state of hiv pts and their progression..is there a typical pattern of emotions? (similar to kubler-ross??) I'm having difficulty understanding how as a family we grew up and remain so close that he can push everyone away to the point he threatens to change his phone number.. Thanks

Your cousin obviously is going through a hard time, both physically and emotionally. For unclear reasons, he wants to have some space right now. Your best course of action probably is to respect his wishes and give him his space for now. That doesn't mean that you need to withdraw. You can keep in touch and let him know that your door is open if he should change his mind. Continue to let him know that you care and are interested in his welfare. As long as you do that, he will know that he can come to you when he needs to.

There is no typical pattern.