I have been best friends for about a year now with an HIV+ male and I have known of his status most of the time. The beginning of our friendship was wonderful. He was caring and considerate, we took numerous trips together, I accompanied him to Dr. Appointments and was there for him anytime he needed me..... but..... the last few months his mood and behavior have completely changed.

When we are in public together we are the picture of happiness but behind closed doors he seems to constantly demean me, call me names, criticize, and treat me very cruel. He even called me saying it was "My Fault" he broke up with his boyfriend when I had only met the man twice. This has been escalating to almost ridiculous proportions and I dont know what will set him off. He does not take medications and does no drugs so I know that is not affecting his mood swings plus he seems to only treat me this way. When we are with others he is very polite and charming and the life of the party. People cant stop raving to me about how wonderful he is!

Lately I have been wondering if he is becoming resentful of me because I am one of the only people he has told Perhaps just looking at me reminds him of a situation he would rather not think about but at the same time, he was not this way before. I have spoken to him so many times regarding his behavior and he sees no fault within himself. I try so hard to be there for him and make sure I give him as much support as possible, recently I even took him on a birthday trip to Hawaii thinking it would reinforce our strong bond, but his bad behavior only continued. I made the decision that when we returned I would no long accept his abuse and when I confronted him he said it was my decision and that he would apologize for nothing. I am so angry and have not spoken to him for weeks but I feel so guilty because I dont want to waste the precious time we have. I know he will never "wake up" so to speak and come to me and I am so at odds with myself. I dont know if I should just give up on him completely?

You made the correct decision to tell him that you will no longer accept his abuse. It really doesn't matter what his reasons are. The fact that he confines it to you means that it is under his control. There is no need to feel guilty. You did everything you could to preserve the friendship. He decided that he wanted to throw it away. To continue to expose yourself to bad treatment would be very self-destructive and you were right to put an end to it.