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Can I kiss her? (Hoping for a quick answer!
Aug 11, 2012

I hope you get the chance to answer this pretty soon.

Im in a long distance relationship with a girl ive met only a few of times. (never kissed). We're going to meet again pretty soon and shes so looking forward to kiss and have sexual contact. The problem she told me that years ago, she got a cold sore and knows its oral herpes. I acted like she didnt say anything important and went on to talk about other things.

Questions :

1- She doesnt get cold sores anymore, and ive read that in a study asymptomatic shedding occurs from zero to 90% of the days (much more than previously thought), does that meet kissing her (making out) once or twice is a gamble? What are the odds?

2- I know there may not be studies on this one but I need your "educated guess". If I take anti viral medications prior to kissing, would that decrease the chances of transmission? Or even wash my mouth with soap right after kissing? Or any kind of PEP? Is there anything "I" can do to significantly reduce the risk of transmission ?

I know it may sound ridiculous but shes very sensitive and so looking forward to physical contact and I really don't want to hurt her or make her feel like shes someone "dirty" im avoiding. That would kill her. What are the odds?

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi You don't have to give up kissing; you just have to be aware of kissing with cold sores. People who actually have cold sore outbreaks will experience the majority of viral shedding at these times.

So the answer to the question is yes, you can get oral herpes or cold sores by kissing, but the highest risk of contracting herpes is when she would have an open sore or the symptoms of an outbreak occurring. Oral herpes can be transmitted to the genital through oral sex, so be very careful during this time.

Hope this helps! Be well and stay safe, Shannon



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