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HIV+ with bleeding gums kissed a guy and oral
Jun 29, 2012

So I recently was with a guy who I fell madly in love with while abroad. I have vowed to meet him again and we have been in touch since I left. Well we went out to eat and as I know about brushing, I tried to stay away and would only use mouth wash if I knew he and I were going to deeply kiss and would try to stay away from it as much as possible from brushing. He would brush, but he had very good gums.

Also, he did go down on me for a little bit, I do precum, but I NEVER ever ejaculated in his mouth and we never had sex.

I am worried because recently he has been to the doctor because about three weeks after I left he has had a fever and has been very ill. While we were together, he was already dealing with throat problems that were causing him to not talk a lot because of his sore throat and the doctors orders.

When I did return, I too came down with a little cold or so but beat it. I am an HIV + positive male, but have had a undetectable viral load for about half a year. There were a few days during the trip where I had forgotten to take my meds but adhered to them significantly.

I am worried and cannot imagine having given this to someone I care so much about. I am afraid to kiss people now even though I don't want to kiss anyone but him.

Please help.

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi We do know that with an undetectable viral load the risk of HIV transmission decreases to less than 4%. From what you have shared with me I don't believe there was a huge risk of transmission to your partner. What I feel may have happened is you both came home with a cold or other type of viral infection.

You may not also be sure of his past and who he has been with and been exposed to. I would recommend that he does receive testing to give you both peace of mind and then if the relationship were to continue making sure that you continue adhering to your medication.

Be well and stay safe, Shannon

Safe or unsafe
CD4 of 15, throat ulcer and uncontroled fever

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