afraid even if protected sex with hiv husband
May 2, 2009
My husband is hiv positive and I am defenitely hiv negative, I finished all the check up, Praise the God.
But my question is I am not ready to do sex with my husband, I am very afraid I dont know how I can survive without sex I have four small children whose are also healthy like me.
He usually take condom but I am still afraid, even if he wants to use it. PLEASE HELP ME TO RESPOND MY QUESTION TODAY AS I AM GETTING CONFUSE AND I NEED SEX TODAY.
EVEN IF WHEN HE WANTS TO ONLY SAFE TO SAFE PLAYING MY VAGINAL WITH HIS FINGURES; I AM GETTING AFRAID.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH:
Response from Dr. McGowan
Thank you for your question.
This is one of the most dificult aspects of living with HIV.
This is a decision that only you can make along with your sexual partner.
Some things that may help:
1) Is your husband on medication to treat HIV, and if so, is his virus undetectable (fully suppressed)? If so, that may lessen, but not eliminate the risk of transmission. If not, this may be a reason for him to get started on treatment, regardless of how good his immune function may be. 2) It is true that certain sexual practices can be less risky, such as mutual masturbation, fingering, frottage (rubbing the penis or vagina against a person's intact skin), or oral sex with use of a latex dental dam for example. Vaginal sex with use of a latex condom reduces risk, but must be used properly.
The most important thing is to communicate your needs and concerns with your husband. Do not let things fester, that could disrupt your family. Perhaps you should go with him to your next doctor's appointment to have an open discussion about your specific circumstances.
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