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Still wondering about the having kids but being gay question
Oct 20, 2006

Dr. Wohl,

Thanks so much for answering my question. You really helped. Well, yeah, allow me to explain how exactly I've thought about having a kid... Well, my partner and I have been together for about 3 years, he's the greatest guy and he's not positive. I know if we did want a kid, it would probably be safer for him to be the one donating the sperm. I've thought about this too, and I like the idea, but I was just wondering the risks of having a kid I could truly call my own blood. I don't know if that's selfish... We do have this lesbian wonderful friends who might be willing but I do worry anyway. SO you think that if I underwent a sperm washing procedure, it would be safe? Maybe I should just give up this dream and still have our adopted son who is 16 and who we both love to death. We only adopted him about 6 months ago.

Anyway, sorry for carrying on... What do you think though?

And sorry, one more question, in your opinion, is having a cd4 count of 450 healthy, and what about a viral load of 65000...? Would really care to hear your opinion. Thank you so much.


Response from Dr. Wohl

Dear Ben,

The decision whether or not to father a child is an intensely personal one. I think with the facts you and your partner can decide what is right for you.

Sperm washing is an option (albeit an expensive one). We do not know if the risk of transmission is zero and as I wrote earlier, they may require that your viral load be suppressed. I do not know of a case of transmission of HIV following sprem washing.

Of course, using your partner's sperm or adopting (again) are alternatives.

Your CD4 cell count is moderately high (which means it is moderately low - sort of like when they say it is partly cloudy when they could have said partly sunny). I am unclear what your viral load is. I thought you wrote earlier that it was 650,000 but it may be really 65,000. The latter is also middle of the road - not high or low. The higher the viral load, the quicker the CD4 cell count drops. Statistics would predict that your CD4 count will drop by about 50 cells or so a year. Currently, we in the US get all ga-ga about treating HIV when the CD4 cell count hits 350 consistently.


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