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My doctor broke up with me
Jun 16, 2004

A couple of months ago I became concerned that my doctor wasn't paying as much attention to a recurrent infection as I thought she should have been. I mentioned my concern to a nurse who suggested that I write a letter to my doc, which I did. I never received any response, so after a few weeks went by, I contacted patient relations, which was the other suggestion that the nurse made. After that, the only response I ever got was when my doctor scheduled an appointment with me under false pretenses in order to let me know that my care was being terminated unilaterally and without further discussion. I'm left with no MD.

So my question is, am I missing something? I never heard of such a thing, and I can't believe it happened to me. I don't usually complain and am generally very easy to deal with.

Response from Dr. Lee

You are missing something, you are missing a doctor. Did your previous doctor refer you to someone, or do you have friends who see someone to whom you can transfer your care? Check with an AIDS hotline or call the American Academy of HIV Medicine to find another doctor who is HIV knowledgeable in your community.

Obviously you have had some mixed up communications at best or some other more serious problems between you and the doc. It sounds as though you do not believe your complaints or concerns were serious enough to warrant the reaction your doctor had to them. I am not clear why you talked to a nurse about the situation initially instead of directly talking to your doctor. For some reason, either the way the complaint was worded, the fact that you took it to a third party, or perhaps something else, your doc felt it was not possible for her to continue in a therapeutic relationship with you. Since she feels that way, it is best to move on because you won't get the best care if the level of discomfort is that high.

Doctors and patients are humans and the relationship between them is a very significant one. If one or the other doesn't feel comfortable, a "divorce" is best. You want to have a doctor that you can rely on and trust.

Be well.

PS This is not the proper forum for disclosure of your name, your doctor's name, the clinic or even the city. There may be websites that provide open forums such as that, but our purpose is to respond more generally to issues. Best wishes to you.

Response from Dr. Lee

You are missing something, you are missing a doctor. Did your previous doctor refer you to someone, or do you have friends who see someone to whom you can transfer your care? Check with an AIDS hotline or call the American Academy of HIV Medicine to find another doctor who is HIV knowledgeable in your community.

Obviously you have had some mixed up communications at best or some other more serious problems between you and the doc. It sounds as though you do not believe your complaints or concerns were serious enough to warrant the reaction your doctor had to them. I am not clear why you talked to a nurse about the situation initially instead of directly talking to your doctor. For some reason, either the way the complaint was worded, the fact that you took it to a third party, or perhaps something else, your doc felt it was not possible for her to continue in a therapeutic relationship with you. Since she feels that way, it is best to move on because you won't get the best care if the level of discomfort is that high.

Doctors and patients are humans and the relationship between them is a very significant one. If one or the other doesn't feel comfortable, a "divorce" is best. You want to have a doctor that you can rely on and trust.

Be well.

PS This is not the proper forum for disclosure of your name, your doctor's name, the clinic or even the city. There may be websites that provide open forums such as that, but our purpose is to respond more generally to issues. Best wishes to you.



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