I am hoping this story will help other 'worried wells' see the light and realize that they are not infected with HIV.

A little over a year ago I had a risky sexual encounter, a one night stand of unprotected vaginal intercourse with a young woman I did not know. Immediately right after I started worrying about STD's especially the big one, HIV. Then I began having symptoms of urethritis and subsequently tested positive for chlamydia. After this I really started worrying about HIV because it was obvious now that my sex partner had put herself at risk in the past, for any STD.

I started reading about acute HIV infection on the internet and the high transmission rate of HIV when other STD's such as chlamydia are involved. Sure enough I developed what I thought was ARS, My temperature was flucuating throughout the day even up to 99.5 degrees in the afternoon (this definitely scared me at the time.) I had a headache, stiff neck, a mild sore throat, and experienced what I thought were night sweats and swollen glands in my neck. Over the next couple of weeks I experienced pain on both side of my abdomen near the rib cage, and also began seeing floaters in my vision. I thought the floaters might have been an inflammatory response to the virus, and I thought the pain near my ribs was because of an enlarged spleen and liver. My doctor examined both organs and said they were normal. I was still convinced that I was infected and would constantly look at my coated tongue thinking it was thrush.

I tested negative at about 2 months and didn't believe the result because of the window period. I tested negative again at 3 months and didn't believe it because experts like the CDC say you should test out to 6 months. I tested negative again at 6 months, and by this point my doctor was recommending I talk with a mental health expert about anxiety and depression. At the one year mark, I tested negative again on ELISA and undectable on PCR testing. I started to believe the test results, especially when I read about all the physical symptoms stress and anxiety can create in a person.

I now realize that it was only loads of anxiety, stress, and tension creating those physical symptoms in my body. Fact: Anxiety can cause body temperatures to rise. It can also cause sweating and nightmares. I thought I was experiencing night sweats. The stiff neck and headache I had in the back of my head classic of a tension headache. Tension can also make you tighten your throat which was causing my so-called 'mild sore throat and difficulty swallowing.' I was also holding tension in other places in my body like my abdomen, which caused some discomfort (I thought it was an enlarged spleen and liver). I also read that floaters often appear when you are worried about something. Different people hold tension in their body in different places, and stress and anxiety can affect people in many different ways. The bottome line is that anxiety, stress, and tension can all cause very real physical symptoms in the body. And they all originate and decease within the mind.

I feel stupid about all the trouble I have caused myself. I should have listened to my doctors, I should have trusted the test results, but most of all I should have worn a condom and not gotten drunk that night. Maybe one day I will test positive because of this one risky event, chances are about one in a million that will happen. I can't beat myself about this any longer, God has forgiven me and now it is time to forgive myself. I have felt guilty and scared for far too long. I am retiring from the worried well club and you should too.

Posted.