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statitics on man contracting from women versus man.
Nov 13, 2008

My fiance has recently tested positive for HIV. I've had 2 tests done a blood & swab both coming back negative. I'm scared to even have protected sex with him & not sure if I can even handle the relationship anymore. I've suspected him possibly being with a man. What are the odds of him contracting this from a woman versus a man?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

I think it's time to slow the wedding plans down. First of all, you are "not sure (you) can handle the relationship anymore." And second, you suspect he may have contracted HIV from another man. The two of you definitely have some issues to resolve before considering a walk down the aisle.

As for statistical risk of contracting HIV, this is estimated based on the type of unsafe sexual activity, not on the gender of one's partner. In other words, the risk associated with insertive anal sex would be the same, despite the gender of his partner.

I would suggest you peruse the information in the archives related to HIV sexual transmission and also the chapter devoted to magnetic couples (one positive and one negative). Couples counseling may also be very useful in helping you both confront this issue honestly and in improving lines of communication.

Finally, I should mention my husband Steve (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum) and I are a magnetic couple. We've been together for 15 years. Happily ever after is indeed still a possibility, despite HIV. Don't let your Mr. Right get away for all the wrong reasons. But do make sure he's really your Mr. Right.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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