Paraniod I think I may have ocd? Is this rational?
Apr 30, 2011
First off sorry if I send this multiple times it said there was an error so I tried a bunch of times, gave up, and tried the next day
Hello, I think I am loosing grip with reality but not sure what to think. I am having bad panick attacks, worsty when I go to bed- feel like I am going to die, literally Could you please give your opinion. That would be so great. Since at least 4 years ago I have been severely depressed about thinking I have HIV/HEP C. I am now questioning if I have OCD. Let me run you by some of the exposures I have had in the past 4+ years that I can remember: -Stepping in blood and worrying that my dog stepped in it and it eventually gets on my hands with cuts -Shaking multiple hands with blood on them while having fresh cuts on my hands -seeing someone with blood on there hands/face/seeing blood at all and being in the same room/ building as them, or seeeing blood on the sidewalk -I have bleeding gums and talk to people that have bleeding gums- is there any way it could travel and survive in my mouth(a few ppeoeple spit when they talk and I can physically see bleeding gums on both of us) -smoking joints with people and worry that they have bleeding gums( I also have bleeding gums)and if they have HIV/HEP C
And those are just a very few examples, I cant think of many more but I had a list of over 30 things at one point. Thinking about HIV/HEP C totally consumes my life. Its all I think about, serisly. I cant go out and have fun or go anywhere within looking for blood on peoples hands. I cant stop thinking about it, sometimes it gets worse to the point where I just sit and sulk and cry. Sometimes if I think about if I did get tested and it came back negative how extremely happy I would be, but then eventually I think about a certain exposure and it totally brings me down.My worker hints at me that I may need OCD treatment and I truly feel that my concerns are not OCD, I truly belive that these are reality and that these exposures are high risk. Now in the past 5 years I have been tested 2 or 3 times all of which came back negative but it seems the older I get the more high rick situations I get in. Are my fears too much/ possible OCD or do you think that I am just very unlucky to be in theses positions. For example the 2 highest risks that I have been in , in the last 6 months are with touching the same objects as a person(known drug user) that have visible fresh wet blood on there hands and I had fresh cuts on my hands
Your help will be greatly appreciated and may lead to me getting OCD treatment if needed or telling my doctor that I dont not need OCD treatment and that these fear are rational. I am sure there is more people out there that have these same fears as well
Thanks in advance
Response from Dr. McGovern
Yes I would agree with your concerns that you have severe anxiety. HCV is transmitted by blood to blood exposure whether it be through injection drug use or through sex associated with trauma. I hope that you will discuss your fears with your doctor so you may get some relief from your anxiety.
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