|I Know Doc, I know..........
Oct 21, 2001
Dr. Bob, I'm fully aware that this forum is dedicated to those with fatigue and anemia, but, being a follower of the body <and your forum in particular since day 1> i'm hoping you'll forgive me and help me with a big dilema, please. I'm a 34 y/o married male <to my high school sweetheart> we are expecting our first child, after being married ten years, sometime in June 2002, I should be elated, but i'm afraid of some stupid stuff <to be polite> that i did YEARS ago, i could sure use your advice. Sometime in either 1985 or 86 i did the very foolish thing of having unprotected vaginal intercourse with a then co worker of unknown status. I was 17 or so at the time, it doesnt excuse my being so dumb, EVEN dumber was me getting unprotected Oral sex from a few different women, no intercourse, no IV drug use, just Oral sex, so why am i so afraid? I'm trying to talk my wife out of getting an HIV test in her first visit to the OBGYN, I could deal with me being infected if that was the case, but, I'd literally kill myself if i knew i had infected her and my unborn child. Am i overreacting here, should i be concerned of the things i've done, or am i just ashamed for doing something so foolish, your advice please. Thanks, Rick
Response from Dr. Frascino
First of all, congratulations on great news: Your first child is on the way! Second, who didn't do foolish things at age 17? Certainly, no one I've ever known, including me. Are you overreacting? Yes, most likely you are. The chances you were infected from your escapades in 1985 or the few episodes of oral sex since that time are still quite low. HIV is not all that easy to contract. Is it possible? Well, yes, it's possible, but not very probable. Rather than trying to talk your wife out of getting an HIV test, isn't there a simpler solution? Go to an anonymous testing center and get yourself tested. Most likely, it will be negative. In any case, your wife should have an HIV test. Perhaps she did a few foolish things when she was 17. You'll want to know her status, so that in the very unlikely event that you or she is positive, you can protect your unborn child.
So, stop being ashamed of the past. There is no way of undoing that. Live in the present and prepare for the future. You owe it to your wife and unborn child. The odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that you are negative.
Stay well, and congratulations again, Dad-to-be.
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