Jul 5, 2001
Dear Doc (should call you buddy as much as we have chatted),
Anyway, I have inquired about my partner's fatigue in the past and asked about my risk (P.S. he is doing much better now--when he wakes he is vibrant and energized..he has more energy than I do!!!!). I took the PCR DNA HIV test at 7-8 weeks and it was neg, (p24 at 3 wks, and elise at 3 weeks--both neg). My doctor says it is okay and I do not need further testing. Anyway, I believe this, but for some reason want a second opinion; hence I turn to you! My partner and I would like to know how to proceed and since we know his positive status, but are still unsure of my status it is difficult. What a nightmare this has been...we just want to proceed with the wonderful life we had before this setback occured. Thank you so very much I really appreciate each answer you have given to the questions I have asked.
P.S. I will be back after we get his second VL and CD4 tests in 5-6 weeks for your advice. Look for me again. Thanks pal!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Welcome back to the forum. I agree with your physician. If you had only ELISA tests (antibody tests), you should be retested at 3 months and 6 months, but with your negative DNA/PCR test, you can now rest assured you're negative. Congratulations!
Also glad to hear your partner's fatigue is resolving.
How to proceed? Well, you are now what we call a discordant couple - one negative and one positive. Welcome to the club! My partner and I are in a similar situation. From personal experience, I can tell you this "setback" should not alter your "wonderful" life together. The new rules are "safer sex" and "negotiated risk." This means you and your partner must learn as much as you can about safer sex. We have an entire expert forum addressing this issue. Since practically nothing is completely without risk, the two of you must decide what level of safer sex risk you're willing to take. Once the new ground rules are in place, things will get back to normal - perhaps even better than ever!
Best of luck to you both. Hope you are as lucky as my partner and I! If that's the case, you indeed will have a very wonderful life!
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