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Realizing I'm not alone... just tired.
Jul 26, 1999

I've just found this site and I am relieved to read of the experiences others have with treatment and overall wellbeing... good and bad.. I was particularly interested in the letter heading Fatigue, Anxiety and feeling alone submitted July 22.99.. as I read this account of this person's experience I was reminded of the experiences I went through 3 years ago being diagnosed HIV+ and my wife testing negative... Indeed it's a very stressful event and an enormous strain was put on the relationship as both cope with a future that at times seems uncertain. My advise is to all is to be strong... you're far from alone.. life does return to a fairly normal routine.. time has a way of healing.. how you look at the rest depends on how well you cope with the ups and downs of life in general... remember..that's always been there in some form... maybe we're just more keenly aware of the moments after discovery.. this is.. yes.. we're mortal... it's a fact we've known all our lives but don't comprehend til we've had a life altering experience such as this.. what's changed... maybe just our awareness... life does go on.. and live you must.. there is no other choice.. how to live that's the challenge... but then again that's been a challenge all along... ask anyone with or without a disability and we're all challenged in one form or another.. the stigma and the lack of understanding are surely a portion of what's preventative... I decided to become self employed.. it was easier to cope and alot more lucrative.. empowerment is a stong key to success... the biggest struggle I had with this happening in my life was the employment issue... support groups work well for the emotional side of things but it seems.. at least where I live.. there is nothing available to help empower those afflicted.. the ability to work is important to one's sense of self worth and health as much so as taking drugs to stay healthy... in a way it's fortunate that I found fatigue to be the greatest obsticle that forced me into quitting a full time job. I now make $110/hour and work at my own pace... this works out perfect... I'd bet that there are many more that given the opportunity and pointed in the right direction could do the same.. especially with computers allowing us a greater freedom to work from home... I've seen alot of change in the 3 years with the ability to manage this condition.. hopefully in the next 2 years it'll become tolerable as well.. and then in the coming years... not even an issue.. progress is being made... the trick now is to figure out how to go from point A to point B without loosing everything that we've worked so hard to achieve.. I have a house and with that a mortgage and another 15 years to go before I own it.. At times I feel like the rabbit that has a carrot dangled in front and can't reach... What do you do ... keep reaching... keep hopping... and figure out the best dame way to do it.. so since life does go on.. so must our dreams... although it is serious.. don't let the hype stress you to death.. your Dr. is probably right.. mine said the same.. you'll probably live to be an old man... you could more likely be killed in a car accident... don't spend too much time worrying... there's no point dieing a thousand deaths... that only happens once.. fear is a terrible thing to live with... be smart about it.. live and focus on how to build a life and you probably will... the faces of some prominant people are out there dealing with the same condition.. keep that in mind... you're not alone.. just tired trying to figure out how to cope...

Response from Mr. Molaghan

Thanks for sharing your experience with us and for reaching out to the person who submitted the question about "Fear, anxiety and feeling alone." I'm sure that many visitors to this site will benefit from your words of encouragement.


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