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First time exposure to HIV. Am I infected?
Jun 29, 2011

Dr. Frascino, I am not even sure if this is the right forum on which to ask this question, but here is my dilemma. I have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for three years. Both of us tested negative when we started dating and both of us have been exclusive. We have had some issues and did not talk for a few weeks. In the meantime I got pretty intoxicated one night and ended up having unprotected anal sex with a guy, who claimed he tested negative four and a half months ago. I was topping him, although the act only lasted about 5-10 minutes being that I was drunk. He also went down briefly on me. Not soon after that, I have found out that his partner, whom he's in an open relationship with, is HIV positive. After asking him to show me his papers, he stated that he does not feel comfortable with that, being that they contain his personal information, but that he will be more than willing to have his doctor send them to my doctor. Being that I don't have a primary care physician, this makes it more difficult. He told me that his partner's viral load is undetectable and that he only tops his partner unprotected. I know that this still carries a significant risk and I am beyond freaked out. It has been 4 days since the exposure, and being that I just found out that his partner is infected, it is a little late to take PEP. Should I take the medication anyways? Another thing is that my partner and I started working things out, if I told him what happened, this would mean the end of our relationship. Either way, I would never dream of putting him through any kind of risk. My question is, in your opinion, what do you think my chances are that I have contracted the virus? What do you think is the risk of infecting my partner if a few weeks down the road we engaged in a sexual act? Also, I am uncut, but I clean myself regularly and I took a shower shortly after. Does that still carry a significantly higher risk? I am devestated at this situation and am I not sure what my next step should be. Being that I am pre-med, I should have been more aware and cautious. This is the only time that I have ever had a random hookup. If you can, please give me any kind of advice.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Dear Sir,

This forum is dedicated to HIV-positive folks, particularly those who have concerns related to fatigue and/or anemia. Questions related to HIV transmission, prevention, safer sex, HIV testing and risk should be sent to Dr. Bob at his "Safe Sex and HIV Prevention" expert forum. Please resubmit your question there using the same title and add the phrase, "resubmitted form the Fatigue and Anemia Forum." Thank you.

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