Jan 7, 2011
Dr Robert, I am sick, I mean really sick, I have problems focusing and my teeth are messed up like I feel like a bum now......Ive been on disability for 4 years and Im finding I want to end it all. I recently lost my house to forclosure and am living in an apartment complex that has alot of ghetto types...excuse the expression...when I moved to NC with my family I thought it would be different remembering how it was in the 80s when I was a Marine here...now its full of drug addicts, scammers and just doesnt feel right to me but Im stuck now in the VA mental system out here....its a horrible existane...there are no jobs...people break in houses apartments. my car was broken intop and Im at my wits end...Ive lost everything because of this disease..10 years ago I was an electrician in Calif making 30 an hour an now I can barely type......I really want it to all end...I have but my car left thats it....my problem is I have an 8 year old son I dont want to see have to live in this environment...we put him in private school but I dont want to live much longer like thiss, its now fair but I see no choice....my father comitted suicide when he was sick but worked hard for us kids, when he could no longer provide he took his own life....I only want to know if its the right thing to do considering my situation....aids organizations have not helped...this town is so depressed and has soo many people its a dail;y hustle here.....there are the haves and have nots....I have lost all I worked for and really do not want to keep going...my friwend came here to visit 4 years back and was appalled by what he saw, projects and mostly an african american culture, I have nothing against them but I was raised at the beach and felt I would come back to see something better here...I was wrong......This place has become my demise along with HIV and Im wondering how would one go to end it without having to go to hospice care which I do now want....Thanx D
Response from Dr. Frascino
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a challenging time.
Regarding your primary question: "I only want to know if suicide is the right thing to do considering my situation," I would advise no, it is not.
You report significant losses -- your home, job, friends, financial security. You intensely dislike your current living situation. However, regarding your health, you mention only that your teeth are messed up and that you can't concentrate. You also mention your eight-year-old son. I don't know how old you were when your father committed suicide, but such actions have a profound effect on youngsters.
There is no doubt you are extremely depressed. This is most likely why you can't concentrate and also why the world appears so grim at the moment. It's unfortunate your local AIDS organizations have not been helpful to date.
My advice is that you talk to your HIV specialist. Tell him you are considering suicide and exactly why you feel you should do this. He should be able to help link you up with the appropriate support services and also arrange for you to be evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist. Once your depression is brought under control with antidepressants and/or psychotherapy, I'm willing to bet your view of your current situation may change. Teeth can certainly be fixed. Your concentration will improve as your depression lifts.
Your son is the most important reason to try again to come to grips with your situation.
The ultimate decisions is yours, but I hope for both your and your son's sake you'll choose wisely.
Consider bringing a copy of this post and my reply to your next visit with your HIV specialist and discuss it with him.
HIV recent ITP diagnosis and cmv virus.
Sero discordant couple. Prevention
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