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In rural Missippi, drove 100 miles to get tested.
Sep 30, 2009

Hey Dr. Frascino. Thanks for your forum. I am at wits end. My preacher told me upfront I was infected. I confided in him and got the heathon, burn in you know where reaction. It reminded me of how failing sex education is in our area thanks to our good freind W. (Mr. Bush). I looked on line and ended up driving nearly 100 miles to get a rapid oral Hiv Test. I had two sexual encounters, one in early August 2009 and one in early September 2009. One consisted of unprotected oral and protected vaginal intercourse and the later one was protected oral and protected insertive Vaginal sex. I do not believe the condom broke on either occasion yet both times 1/3 to 1/2 of my penis was exposed by the condom coming down some. I am worried that I might of had a small cut or something on my shaft that could have been exposed. I tested today September 28, 2009 approximately 8-9 weeks after my first encounter but it was only 3.5 weeks or 25-26 days after my second encounter. The tester told me that he had never seen anybody that had tested negative at these times come back and test positive. I was wondering if I could get a straight answer on my risks and If you thought I should drive back and re-test again. PS. I really had my eyes opened, when I was there I began speaking to a middle aged man who was HIV positive and learned much of what these non profit centers do for people. In my area it is so stigmatized and the volunterers and healthcare workers do so much to help people afford medicines, help pay bills to keep these people in homes and on and on. I donated $100.00 while I was there and gave the person I was talking to some money as well. People need our help and shame and stigma has no place in the discussion of compassion and helping others when they need. it. Your work is appreciated and a donation to you is on the way as well. Sincerely, Worried and grateful

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Worried and Grateful,

So you confided in your preacher obviously looking for support, understanding and guidance. Instead, he called you a heathen, told you that you were HIV infected and that your eternal soul will burn in Hell. Hmm. Nice guy. I think Preacher Scumbag is in for a big surprise when he meets the higher powers in the afterlife. In fact there is probably a special place in Hell reserved for these hateful religious zealots. Please feel free to send him a copy of my response. His behavior is immoral, unconscionable and anything but "Christian!"

Your HIV-acquisition risk is extremely low from the two event you describe. Protected sex is indeed protected, assuming the latex or polyurethane condom was used properly and did not break. That the condom only covered ⅓ to of your towering tallywhacker would not increase the HIV risk, so long as the business end of your one-eyed monster remained enshrined in plastic. Regarding the "small cut or something," it's doubtful this was a significant variable, because it most likely was not an open wound.

Regarding your negative HIV-antibody test today, this is encouraging, but not yet definitive or conclusive. For that you'll need to wait until the three-month mark from the date of your last potential exposure. Driving 100 miles for an HIV test is onerous to say the least! I suggest you use the FDA-approved Home Access Express Test. You can buy it at any pharmacy (well then again you live in rural Mississippi where fire-and-brimstone preachers may be more common than science-based health care tools) or you can order one online. You perform this test yourself, send the sample by mail and call for the results (anonymously) several days later. It's very accurate and reliable. You can read more about the details of the Home Access Test in the archives. Your chances of being definitively and conclusively HIV negative are excellent, despite what Preacher Scumbag said. You followed safer-sex guidelines and did nothing wrong.

Regarding the HIV/AIDS stigma, myth and misinformation in your area, I'd suggest you do all in your power to change the local attitudes by promoting science-based HIV/AIDS awareness, education,prevention, and compassion. Check with local AIDS service organizations. (Just Google AIDS service organizations and the names of nearby towns or cities.) They should be able to help point you in the right direction and put you in contact with likeminded folks in your area. Education is really the key. Eventually even the closed-minded, mean-spirited preacher may come around and experience "enlightenment." (But don't hold your breath for that loser.)

Thank you for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. We'll use it for one of our HIV/AIDS awareness, education and prevention programs. Testimonials like yours remind us all just how much work still needs to be done in that arena. In return for your donation, I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that your definitive three-month HIV test remains negative. I'm very confident it indeed will.

Good luck. Be well.

Dr. Bob

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